Sweet Gummi Mary! As I type this, I am on my deathbed! Well. Not exactly my deathbed. Not literally. I don't think such a piece of furniture is manufactured and sold. I've never see it on an episode of How It's Made when Farmer H watches. No, I guess it's more like I'm on my indisposed-rolly chair.
I am not feeling well. My stomach is rumbly. Not my eating stomach. My poop stomach. Heh, heh. The Pony hates it when I say that. It started about two hours after I ate my Burger King Whopper meal for lupper.
"Huh. That Burger King sure made me sick as a dog! I guess it gave me food poisoning. Wait. Food poisoning takes at least 24 hours to develop. So it's not the Burger King. What did I eat yesterday... Nothing much different from usual. Fake Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast, with two squares of the Farmer H Meowy Christmas auction candy bar. Two slices of the Save A Lot frozen pizza I made for Farmer H. Some BBQ potato chips. And my pinwheels that were two days past the expiration date. Hm. You don't think..."
There goes my PS, rumbling again. I've visited the NASCAR bathroom three times. Good thing it's right next door to my lair! Now that I think of it, those pinwheels were kind of soft. Even though they'd been in FRIG 2 before I ate them. The yellow cheese was still firm enough, but the cream cheese layer was soft and squeezy. I ate them anyway. It's not like I'm a stranger to expired food. I am re-thinking that meal. Amazingly enough, my rumbling started 24 hours after eating the pinwheels!
Yeah. You're right. I'm not going to stop buying those pinwheels. I just make sure to eat them before the date of expiration passes. As one of Mrs. HM's major food groups, those pinwheels are indisposable...
6 comments:
Definitely the pinwheels, I'd suggest buying them within the use-by date limit from now on. Have you heard of "Gastro-Stop"? available from chemists here it stops diarrhoea within hours. You might have something similar available there, it comes in pill form in blister packs so keeps for ages, I always have some handy just in case, though I rarely need them.
River,
I've eaten the pinwheels one day past the date, with no ill effects. Now I will make sure to eat them by the expiration date, or use them for the dogs' treats. My indisposedness ran its course, and I was fine by 2:00 a.m.
We might have something like that. I think it's called Imodium. We've never used it, but my dad had some one time when he was going on a trip.
I don't use the PS term, I delicately call it "digestive issues." If someone is stupid enough to ask what I mean by that, I'm glad to go into graphic and gross details.
It seems like the older I get, the more foods cause "digestive issues" and the odor gets worse too, the older I get.
Sioux,
Stay away from the pinwheels, Madam!
My daughter, Jill's god son's family call diarrhea "the schmatz". When Miles was in first grade he told his teacher that he must go home, that he was afraid that he had the schmatz, really bad. Teacher called the mom because she had no idea what he was talking about. Sounded cute, but a little too unique.
Kathy,
You never know. She might have needed to call in a hazmat team, depending on just WHAT "the schmatz" turned out to be!
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