Monday, August 2, 2021

Welp! My Right Arm Fell Off Last Night...

Don't extend your sympathy! I will be okay. It's just an arm. My last remaining arm. On my favorite rolly chair that Farmer H gave me for Christmas about 20 years ago. It was the best gift EVER!. The left arm fell off a few years back. Now it was the left's time to go.

Not the whole arm. It's not like Genius's Goodwill rolly chair, the high-backed office style, mesh, with a single arm remaining. Mine only lost the plastic sleeve armrest. It had been weak for a while. Sometimes it would shoot forward, and I'd have to yank it back into place. Like sliding that part of a pump-action rifle to cock it. Not that I've ever shot a rifle. I HAVE watched a Western or two.

Anyhoo... this time when I slid my arm back, it twisted sideways. Like the skin of a human arm spinning around the bone. As I tried to straighten my arm, it came off in my hand.

Goodbye, old friend. You were a good source of support, while you lasted.

7 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

You know where they have nice, new rolly chairs, with both armrests intact? The place I'm talking about sometimes even lets you pick your own chair. And the chair won't cost you a thing.

I'm going to let you guess...

River said...

Oh no! Whatever will you do without a place to rest your arms? Can the arms not be reattached? Might be time to buy a new rolly chair.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
A store? They're new, with armrests, and don't cost unless you buy it. Or the loony bin? Do they have new chairs? I am baffled by this grand land of chairs and rolling, of which you speak. I know it can't be a SCHOOL, because I NEVER saw NEW chair in school.

***
River,
My old rolly chair still has rudimentary arms. The flat metal upon which the curved plastic was placed for resting my arms. Now my arms will be less rested. Fatigued, perhaps, from lying atop metal.

Sioux Roslawski said...

You guessed it--school. Oh, the chairs aren't always new, but they would be new to you.

Are those two-armrest chairs luring you, like a siren's song? Think of it... All you have to do is come out of retirement, and a rolly chair with two armrests would be yours...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
No, Madam. I can resist that siren song even if sung by tanned, glistening, lithe Chippendales. Wait. What was I talking about? Oh! The rolly chairs.

Even when working, in my respectable career as a senior faculty member, all I had was a rolly chair like The Pony's invalid wheel chair. A student version, no arms.

Once upon a time, when we moved from Lower Basementia into Newmentia in 2000, I had a chair with arms. I think its previous user was Methuselah. I was fine with it, until I returned from summer "break," and discovered (thankfully before sitting down), that one of the wheels had been broken off, and was merely propped under to disguise the damage. Thank the Gummi Mary, I pulled that chair back before plopping my ample rumpus into it. A little custodian birdie told me that summer school students were having chair races down the ramp to the library (and best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel's) wing. I hope my old nag won before its career-ending injury.

River said...

You'll have to wrap each arm in old towels and secure it with duct tape. You know, McGyver them.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
NOW you tell me! All these years, I could have had a more-rested left arm, since that one fell off a long time ago.