Last week I became annoyed with Farmer H when he was trying to respond to my interrogations. How rude! He was chomping away at something while trying to talk. I was reminded of the restaurant scene in Miss Congeniality where Michael Caine tells Sandra Bullock, "I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap."
"What are you eating? Just stop! Swallow it!"
"I ain't eatin' nothin'! It's gum."
"Eww. Why did you buy gum? You look ridiculous!"
"I didn't buy it. It was free."
"That's just what you need! MORE sugar!"
"It's sugar free. It's Dentyne."
Not sure where Farmer H got free gum. I was too astounded to ask. I had to look away while talking to him. I swear he puts that gum somewhere overnight and then chews it again. It's just a small pack, yet it seems to have 500 pieces! I wish it was gone.
A 68-year-old man chomping on gum is not an appealing sight.
4 comments:
Don't I know it! THe patient is addicted to sugar-free juicy fruit. He will dispose of the chewed gum in whatever vessel he happened to be drinking from when he decides he no longer wants it. Makes me want to gather it for a week and serve it to him on a sandwich.
No one of any age is an appealing sight while chomping on gum. Can you accidentally swipe the bag/packet into the bin while wiping down the counter?
Kathy,
Well, we seem to be married to the same man! I have not yet found where Farmer H is disposing of his gum. Make sure to use a good bread for that sandwich! Perhaps a tasty Hawaiian type.
River,
I looked at his packet of gum last night, after he went to bed. He leaves it on the table between his recliner and the short couch. It wasn't even Dentyne! It was Trident! Still sugar free, though. AND there was only ONE piece left! Hopefully he chewed it tonight while I was not present.
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