Sunday, December 20, 2020

Chillin' With A Valedictorian And A Chemical Engineer

We're having a brief lull here at the Mansion. The Official Headquarters of the Greater Hillmomba Brain Trust. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, you know. Use it or lose it. We might be in danger.

Thursday, The Pony did the weekly grocery shopping while I did the weekly errands. We didn't have time to convene until I got back from town. The Pony carried my lunch tray downstairs while I changed into my lair wear. I leaned over the back of the couch to talk to The Pony for a minute before descending to my mole hole.

"What are you doing now?"

"I'm getting my laptop out of my room, so I can sit out here while MY TV is recording your Cagney and Lacey."

"I can't believe you're not a fan!"

"Um. No."

"It was a really good show back then. But it's kind of dated now. They have to call the precinct from a PHONE BOOTH!"

"Huh."

"What's that smell? Is that your new tropical shampoo?"

"Yeah. Here. Smell it." The Pony leaned over the end table by the couch, and stuck his head in my face.

"Gee, your hair smells terrific."

"It's pretty good."

"You missed that. It's a dated reference to an old shampoo brand."

"Huh."

"Well. I guess I'll go downstairs and leave this stimulating conversation. WHAT are you doing?"

"Looking for my phone. I don't know where I set it."

"Retrace your steps."

"I don't THINK I put it in the refrigerator when I was putting stuff away. Hm. I don't know WHERE it could be."

"Here. I'll call it."

"That's not necessary."

"Yes it is. You don't seem to be finding it."

"Here! Let ME do it. Huh. It says network unavailable."

"It's that darn metal roof! I can barely use my cell phone now in the house."

"I turned off your wi-fi so the phone will work."

"Be sure to turn it back on!"

"Listen. THERE! It's ringing!"

"IT'S RIGHT HERE ON THIS END TABLE!"

"YOU were standing right over it the whole time!"

"It's YOUR phone! Besides, YOU leaned across it to smell me your hair! Your belly-button was almost on it!"

"I don't have eyes in my belly-button!"

"Oh my gosh! We are SO STUPID!"

I have a feeling our brains currently look like a couple of dried-out English walnuts.

4 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Stimulating conversation! Some days here just seem to melt together. I do have the phone on and the calls are fewer and far between, but just as stupid.

River said...

It's Christmas. And Winter. You both have cold Christmas brain.

Sioux Roslawski said...

KIND of dated? Isn't that show from the 70s? I loved it when it came on originally but--oof--now, it's WAY dated.

Perhaps there is a way to make The Pony stop taking such long soaks in the triangle tub. Stream nonstop episodes of Cagney and Lacey into the bathroom where the tub is. Put it at stun volume ("Oh, Christine!") and force his eyes open with toothpicks so he is forced to look at the clothes and the hairstyles. He'll stop those soaks right away.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
At least you haven't lost your phone! That would be worse than listening to the stupid calls!

***
River,
We DID, with high temps in the 30s. But today it was 50 degrees! I might be getting smarter. Can't speak for The Pony, you'll have to get that straight from the horse's mouth!

***
Sioux,
Hush up! That show is from the early-to-mid '80s.

I want The Pony to hear Harve say, "Mary Bet!" He never used her "h" that I can remember.