Sunday, February 14, 2021

Not-Heaven Hath No Fury Like A Convenience Store Customer Trying To Flout The Rules

Mrs. HM has hot gossip from the convenience store front! There hasn't been such excitement in Hillmomba since the gas wars of the '70s, when prices dropped hourly as proprietors attempted to undercut their competitors.
 
As has become my habit, I entered the Gas Station Chicken Store in the middle of a "situation" to which I was totally oblivious. There was a line. As I ran my magical elixir at the soda fountain, I noticed a man and woman off to the side. At the unused register. The clerk motioned to a guy in line.
 
"I can help you now."
 
I figured the man and woman were having a problem with their card. Maybe trying it again off to the side. It was taking a while. The clerk waited on two more people as I stood in line. Then she went back to the couple, and took a check from them. The Woman was not happy.
 
"I STILL don't see where it says anything about PRE-APPROVAL!"
 
"It's right up here." The Clerk walked over and pointed to an exact sentence on the wall. White lettering on a black background. In a font big enough that I could read it from where I stood.
 
"Huh."
 
The Man had already walked out when the check was taken. The Woman then followed. I saw her climb into a red SUV parked next to the door. I assumed they had pumped gas (you don't have to pay in advance at the Gas Station Chicken Store), then wanted to pay with a check. By the time I got to the counter, no one else was left in the store.
 
"Are you causing trouble again?"
 
"I guess so. I always seem to be the problem."
 
She didn't elaborate on the situation, so I didn't press the issue. I took my tickets and magical elixir out into the 11-degree Nature's Icebox, gripping my scratchers against the sharp wind. One more stop. The Liquor Store, for some lottery for The Pony's upcoming birthday. It's across the street from the Gas Station Chicken Store.
 
Imagine my surprise upon entry, to find a loud discussion between the Man and Woman Checksters, and the Attitudinal Clerk of the Liquor Store!
 
"I couldn't believe how rude she was when I called her! She don't care about NOTHIN'!" said the Man.
 
"But the gal working there was really nice," said the Woman.
 
"Oh, you mean Angie? Yeah, she's nice. The other one is the WOMAN OWNER! Nobody likes her! She's hateful to everyone. I can't believe they're still in business. But everybody goes there! To buy their gas."
 
"I guarantee they won't be going there when I'M done with them!" boasted the Man. "Travelers aren't going to be getting their gas there!"
 
PUH-LEASE! 
 
I seriously doubt that anybody will care what the Man has to say. First of all, the name of the Gas Station Chicken Store is obscure. People call it one thing, but the sign says another. It's the first gas station off the exit ramp. It's been there over 20 years. The other gas station is Casey's, two stores down, that sells ONLY regular gas. No mid-grade, no premium, no diesel. The only other gas station, Orb K, is on the other side of the highway, which is difficult to get to if you don't know the layout of this highway exit.
 
Heh, heh. The Attitudinal Clerk of the Liquor Store, trashing the Woman Owner of the Gas Station Chicken Store, made me think of the pot calling the kettle black. Her customer service is not exactly exemplary! 

I don't know what the Man and Woman were doing in the liquor store. Maybe they bought scratchers, or cigarettes. I didn't see any liquor. I don't know why the Attitudinal Clerk was so wound up. They don't even sell gas. Mainly cigarettes and liquor. Sometimes a fountain soda in the summer. I guess they're jealous of the Gas Station Chicken Store's business. Like I've said before, it seems to be a family-owned and family-run Liquor Store.

One thing's for sure: next time I see that clerk at the Gas Station Chicken Store, I'm going to tell her how the disgruntled Woman, and the Attitudinal Clerk, were sticking up for her.

It cracks me up to think of the Man calling the Woman Owner to complain about the check policy, when the Woman Owner is the one who MADE THE CHECK POLICY AND POSTED IT ON THE WALL! Heh, heh! Woman Owner is like the Honeybadger. 
 
WOMAN OWNER DON'T CARE!

5 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

Was that last line a bit of Bob Marley?

River said...

So much excitement! I'm practically on the edge of my chair waiting for more :)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
No, just what my students used to interject to acknowledge a particularly good burn. "HONEY BADGER DON'T CARE!" Because a honey badger is kind of fearless. Here's a 3-minute wildlife video, complete with snake-eating and lion-intimidating.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJF84oz93jw

I'm sure some of my students were Bob Marley fans, but I doubt that's where they picked up the DON'T CARE comment.

***
River,
I don't know how long the wait might be, but the Gas Station Chicken Store does not disappoint!

Sioux Roslawski said...

The Bob Marley song that I was thinking of was "No Woman No Cry," which I heard more than a couple of decades ago. I think I screwed up the lyrics when I was racing to make a connection with your post.

Old fat women like me should not race under any circumstances...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Unless you are being chased by an uncaring honey badger!