Like Arguing With A Fresh-Mouthed Fencepost

We had thundersnow on Friday. Which started with thundersleet around 11:00 a.m. First time in a long time that the TV meteorologists have nailed the forecast. I was keeping an eye on the conditions. It's been in the 50s or 60s for a week. So I didn't think this would amount to much. BUT the temperature dropped all day from 36 to 30, and that precipitation cooled off the ground.

Farmer H sent me a text that the roads might be slippery. I called him about 2:00, and he said I probably shouldn't get out. I really wanted some scratchers, you know. I had a $100 crossword winner that I was going to cash in. Farmer H said he could bring me tickets on his way home. That he'd stop by the School-Turn Casey's, and the Backroads Casey's. He doesn't go to the Gas Station Chicken Store.

Anyhoo... I sent Farmer H two pictures of previous losers, to show what kind of tickets I wanted from each Casey's. Under the pictures, I texted him the cost and description of the tickets. I specifically said TWO (just like that, in capital letters) of the crossword tickets at each store. Then a total of what it all would cost. I also said what I was paying him, and that he could spend $10 on himself.

When Farmer H came home, he put the tickets on the kitchen table. He came to his recliner, and told me, on the short couch...

"The top three tickets are from the School-Turn Casey's. Then the sideways ones are from the Backroads Casey's. Then there's one from the Gas Station Chicken Store, because Backroads didn't have that green one. And the one on the very bottom is my ticket. How much was I supposed to spend? Because I think I'm $5 below that."

"Oh. If there's only three from the School-Turn Casey's, then you forgot two."

"I didn't say I only got three there! I said there was three stacks!"

"Well. You did say the top three tickets. So I was just commenting on that."

"There are three STACKS! That's what I said! Three stacks of tickets!"

Actually, there were four stacks, because of HIS ticket. But I didn't bring that up. Farmer H is well-known for saying things one way when he means another. I have no idea why Farmer H went ballistic when I was only trying to clarify which tickets he got where.

And I was pointing out why he might have come up with the wrong total. I figured when he volunteered to bring me tickets that he'd mess something up. I didn't really care. I was just trying to find out where which tickets came from, because I write it on the back, so I know where the winners come from, and not to buy the same thing there after a big winner. And he had said he didn't think he spent enough.

"There you go, always complaining!"

Which I really wasn't. Just trying to find out the origin of my tickets.

"I guess you left off one of the crosswords somewhere. That's the only way you could be $5 off."

"I only got one crossword at each place. I got what was in the picture!"

"I didn't put two in the picture, because under the picture I told you what to get. I even wrote TWO crosswords, in capitals."

"Well, I didn't read that. I just looked at the pictures."

Funny how Farmer H figured out he could spend $10 on himself. THAT wasn't in a picture!

Anyhoo... just goes to show you that Farmer H can't be bothered to read a simple sentence under a picture. And would rather scream at me than start right off by saying he didn't read the instructions. In fact, he left off TWO crossword tickets, and was $10 under the total I expected him to spend.

I still don't care that Farmer H was two tickets short. I am mainly irked that he yelled at me for merely trying to find out where the tickets came from. And the fact that he doesn't follow written instructions any better than spoken instructions.

At least I won $50. Farmer H won nothing.